August 25, 2005
Mommy, When I Grow Up, Can I Be a Consultant?
Posted by Kevin | Print This Article
Shawn Lea’s a great blogger. She does interesting things for her organization, and reports on her voracious reading habits in her association-related blog The Big Picture. And even though I don’t think I’ve ever seen her mention it in an association-related context, she also has a fun and worthwhile personal blog (and since there are no secrets on the Internet, here it is).
I say all this because I’m about to riff on something she wrote about on the ASAE Conference blog and I want her to know that … it’s nothing personal, Shawn! It’s just something you reported on during the event that I found hysterical.
And here it is: Shawn attended and blogged about a presentation from Matt Weinstein, “founder and emperor” (cute …. ish) of Playfair, Inc. In her report she noted:
“Also look for his management book on Row, Row Your Boat coming out from Penguin Books next year. Only four easy-to-remember components to the tenets:
1. Row, row, row your boat
2. Gently down the stream
3. Merrily, merrily, merrily
4. Life is but a dream”
Well, give me a break. But the funny part is, even though I didn’t attend this presentation … neither did you, most likely … but having listened to countless consultants and read countless books by consultants … can’t you already imagine exactly what the points are he intends to make for each of those sections?
What a great gig. In fact, anyone can do it! To prove my point: publishers take note, herewith my abbreviated book proposal, “The Itsy Bitsy Spider: How Smart Organizations Defeat the Business Cycle by Embracing It.”
It’s a book in six simple parts with an intro and conclusion. Notes on each follow:
Intro
Long-term success is not about continuous growth, but continuous renewal. &c.
Part 1: The Itsy Bitsy Spider …
Organizations: when they start up, they know themselves, their product/service. Focused on customer/market needs. Aggressive and willing to try risky things because they have no choice against big competitors. &c.
Part 2: Climbed Up the Waterspout …
Got a hold in your market and exploited it. Growth! What else does our market need? Or who else can we sell our product to? Expand services and products. Too easy to forget where you came from/who you are serving. &c.
Part 3: Down Came the Rain …
Bad news! Economic downturn! Organizational hubris! A smarter, nimbler competitor! Whatever it is, you’re screwed. &c.
Part 4: And Washed the Spider Out …
“Oh, no! How did we lose our way?” Too many organizations lose because they fight to hold on to what they have rather than to what they are. (How profound! I may have to repeat that several times throughout the book.) &c.
Part 5: Out Came the Sun and Dried Up All the Rain …
Return to roots. Organization understands now who it is and who it’s market is. Focus on creation and not just expansion for its own sake. &c.
Part 6: And the Itsy Bitsy Spider Climbed Up the Spout Again.
Smart organizations realize that … cycles happen. Embrace them! Plan for them! If you want to accomplish great things, that means you are also going to fail. Build a culture of renewal, not just growth. &c.
Conclusion
Visit my website and send me more money.
Interested publishers: you’ll find my email on the righthand side. And I can probably knock this out in a month or so, so if you have a hole in your pub sked to fill …
P.S. This is fun. You should try it! Take any children’s song or rhyme and figure out how to squeeze profound consultant-speak messages from the lines. It’s surprisingly easy. Here are a few to get your brain started: “Little Jack Horner,” “The Wheels on the Bus,” “The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe,” and “Baby Got Back.”
P.P.S. Not having been there, I suppose it’s also possible that Matt Weinstein came up with something startlingly creative in his discussion of “Row Row Your Boat.” But then that wouldn’t play very well into the point of this post, now would it?
Ahhh, I’ve been outed. Now they’ll never believe I only live for association blogging!
I promise I don’t have a split personality. I just keep work at work and play at play.(And I was very confused when I saw referrals coming from your blog.)
And Weinstein’s book idea was funny - but in his defense, it was supposed to be funny. His point was that the consultants made the books too complex - you couldn’t remember their points two weeks later. He guaranteed that you would remember the main tenets of his book two weeks later…and look, you haven’t even read it and you already remember!
(And I vote for “Hey Diddle Diddle” for your book. Then you could have your blog cow jumping over the moon, and you wouldn’t have to create a separate blog just for your upcoming book!)
Ah, but Shawn, haven’t you learned that work is play?
Yes, Kevin. And play is work (which is why I’m reading your blog at 11:12 p.m. on Friday night). Oh, how the Friday night play has changed!
For clarification, I don’t hide my personal blog from anyone (how could I anyway?), but I don’t broadcast it to co-workers or association members. Not because I’d be embarassed by anything on it, but because I try to separate my play blog from my work blog - not necessarily work and play itself.
We had a discussion about your blog a while back via e-mail and I know that you said you used this blog for both, but at the time I had not started my association-focused blog. (It’s only two months old.) Now I’m just used to the schism.